The interview with Andrea

Hello Andrea, it’s been such an honor and enjoyed the process of working with you on my book.

Hi Prithi. It’s been a massive privilege for me to support you with writing and editing your book – Love Letters to my Guru – BKS Iyengar. You had a unique relationship with him and he provided so much solidity for you as a benevolent, wise Grandfather figure. BKS is obviously a highly evolved being who is revered in the yogic world and by Indians. You are weaving a rich story that many yogis and yoginis will appreciate.

We have met in many wonderful locations to be inspired by and dive into your writing project: the Four Seasons in Dubai, cafes in the back streets of Pune, and pizza joints in London! It’s been fortuitous to have our paths cross in these cities.

And as you know writing is a demanding journey where we discover much value about ourselves. While writing can be pleasurable, especially the initial creative outpour, it’s a craft that demands time and discipline. We have had plenty of laughs and a few tears on this writing path.

Could you tell me about your book and the process of writing for other writers?

I’m into the final three chapters of my best book yet: Faded to Fabulosity – Nine Days to Dance into your Delight. It’s designed to ask the key questions and reveal your innate joy and delight, that has been with you always. Some call it our true nature. That natural delight has been here all the time but shrouded by the layers of wounding or confusion. That wounding includes the trauma, depression, cynicism, and entitlement we innocently gather on our human journey. It’s for people who are serious about connecting to their delight and enjoy diving deep into their inner treasure trove of beauty and wisdom.

Writing this book has been a radically different experience from writing my other books. Through the hard lessons of attempting to write two books on my own, with no other experience except for writing my Transpersonal Psychology Masters thesis, I’ve discovered three things that are essential for my success: Space/time, Support, and Structure – more about those later.

One of my psychotherapy clients recently dropped a wisdom bomb on me. He said, “My Dad always told me, ‘Curiosity is a form of worship.’ “ Yay! I love this permission… often I think bright and curious women of my generation and earlier, were labeled with ‘being nosey, too big for their boots, beyond their station…and the classic, who the f**k do you think you are?’ Writing is a brilliant way of directing our curiosity and broadening our lens on ourselves and our connection to this life and being surprised along the way.

-It’s been a journey for me, at times fulfilling and others frustrating. I thought I had completed it, but I have now chosen to extend it.

My biggest pieces of advice are:

Spacetime: Take your time. Yes Prithi, writing is frustrating and difficult and at the same time full of growth and learning. Have a completion date but give the process the time it deserves.
Structure: Do your best to have a plan. Have your chapter themes, headings and sub-headings mapped out beforehand. Have a road map that tracks an overview. Know where you are going…even if you change direction halfway through have a plan.
Support, support, support: Find support from someone who has solid experience as a writer and a publisher. Have a team of beautiful fellow writers. It took me years to find a group that both nurtured and challenged my writing process. I tried many! Drunken gatherings of Dubai ex-pat writers, chilled back-yard gatherings of therapist colleagues, expensive writing workshops in Taos with Natalie Goldberg, and another in Carmel-by-the-Sea, Monterey County. I also worked with several expensive consultants, who supported me with editing. All of these had their contribution but I have found working with Jo Parfitt the most helpful. I joined one of Jo’s writing groups and by delightful synchronicity we four participants clicked. Under her no-nonsense and informed teaching (she has her own publishing company), we have each made impressive progress on our manuscripts. Our group agreed to meet fortnightly to read each other’s chapters and provide feedback. That process of accountability to my writing teammates has been essential for keeping me on track. It also takes the loneliness out of what can be an isolated activity. We meet monthly with Jo to undertake the initial research and planning around our books and write the first three chapters. We have now employed her to continue working with us to guide us through to the completion of our books. www.joparfitt.com

What advice would you give to first-time writers?

I found Natalie Goldberg’s books and workshops really helpful to overcome the fear of just writing. Julia Cameron’s book The Artist’s Way was powerful for opening me to my creativity. We all have creativity, it’s in our veins but we lose touch with it, often through our repressive educations.

Writing is a bit like learning astrology. I think it involves a lifetime of learning and expanding. Unless you were lucky enough to train in journalism it’s worth getting some great nuts and bolts tutoring, like learning about grammar. It’s not something that was taught well in New Zealand state schools!

It’s also helpful to remember why you are doing this particular writing project. What is your passion? Who will you serve by writing this book or article? What do you love about writers? When did you first fall in love with words? Where is your most favorite place in the world to sit and write? Is there a writers conference you can attend or a writing group you can join?

-I know you do many other dimensions of cathartic and expressive work. If you could tell me about that.

I work a lot with people who have experienced trauma. I sometimes have my clients paint full, life-size pictures of themselves to begin naming the trauma and how they hold it in their body cellularly and in their body image. I offer a six-part workshop called Rebonding of the Body that uses this spontaneous painting experience along with movement and meditation for healing and transformation of trauma. In my upcoming book Faded to Fabulosity, I outline many journaling techniques and ask many direct questions to explore your Tricky Traits or patterns which no longer serve you. I describe the expressive work in detail, as a contributing author to this book: The Development and Evolution of Rebonding of the Body: Its Application to Women’s Substance Abuse Treatment by Deanna Luray Mulvihill RN Ph.D. (Author), Andrea Anstiss (Contributor)

Having worked on the process. Could you elaborate for others about the Hoffman Process?
I’m a former Hoffman Process teacher. A great deal of what I learned in that role I incorporate into my work with my clients. The essence of the Hoffman Process is we need to awaken to the patterns we inherited from previous generations and not continue to replay that generational trauma. It is highly experiential which makes it really effective. In the process, we connect with our own deeper self and discover this is who we truly are and not our patterns. We deserve to do this for our own fulfillment, for our kid’s happiness and I believe we have a duty to heal ourselves for future generations. The Hoffman Process is a brilliant workshop as is the Path of Love. I recommend everyone do at least one of these workshops. World peace one person at a time! The people that teach and also volunteer their time for these organizations ( Path of Love relies on a lot of voluntary support) are exemplary human beings.

Could you share our processes, and travel experiences that have resonated with you, to share with others for their own personal journey?
Prithi, that’s a huge question and now at 60 years old those experiences and travels are vast. I have been incredibly fortunate to have lived thirty-plus years in the Gulf region of the Middle East. I love the Arab culture and my expatriate life. This is a hotpot of juicy nationalities so my client base is rich and varied.

In Dubai, where I have lived for twenty years, we are a hub for Emirates Airlines. I can travel almost anywhere easily. My studies and work have taken me around the globe many times. I really need to publish my memoir to do this question justice!

I am a transpersonal psychotherapist. Meeting individually with clients is my bread and butter as well as my passion. In the transpersonal perspective, we honor all forms of spiritual connection, we honor the body, our innate knowing and we honor dreams and visions. I am a former Hoffman Process teacher so I have a deep understanding of how patterns are passed from generation to generation and how to awaken to those patterns and transform them. My lens is quite wide.

I am also a certified Holotropic Breathwork Facilitator. I regularly lead workshops in Dubai and New Zealand ( except in 2021 when they wouldn’t let me in!). Holotropic Breathwork, pioneered by Stan and Cristina Grof, is a phenomenal way to reach a non-ordinary or expanded state of consciousness and transform your relationship to life.

I have been studying Non-Dual healing now for ten years with many great teachers including Jason Schulman who originated this path, Sharadha Bain, Samar Ajami, and Terry Nathanson. This mode of healing is based on the Tree of Life which appears in many religions.

Prior to Covid -19, I went to India at least once a year, often to the Osho Ashram in Pune. I love the array of active meditations taught there. The Ashram is a rich resource and the wildness and brilliance of the spirit of Osho are still alive and well in the beautiful enclave of Koregaon Park, Pune. Sadly Osho and his early followers seem to be enmeshed in fresh controversy, which may influence my decisions about further visits.

Again I highly recommend to my clients to dive into either Path of Love (Path Retreats) or the Hoffman Process. Both workshops support people to shift their lives, heal fast, ignite their creativity or connect with their humanity in a deeper way.

Of course, I love going home to NZ, connecting with my relatives, and hanging with the whanau (extended family). The nature in New Zealand is raw and stunning. We are lucky to have a place in Queenstown amongst all of that beauty. On my way I do my best to duck into Seminyak, Bali for some yoga and R and R. Hopefully these travel options will reopen for all of us again soon.

Sending you so much love and joyous writing experiences in 2022 Prithi.